Logo

"The devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God."

-Donald Miller, "Blue Like Jazz"

re-li-gion
–noun
1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2. a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3. the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
4. the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.

I can't stand religious practices. Some of the times I've felt most disconnected from God were times I've spent in some of the churches I've attended. You get so caught up in routine and ritual that God is completely left out of the equation. There were times I'd sit there in church counting down the minutes before I could leave, and you always knew when that would be because the service lasted the exact same amount of time. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Opening song.
Greeting time. 5 minutes.
2 more songs.
Prayer.
Lord's prayer.
Call to worship.
Sermon (20-30 minutes depending on length of songs).
Prayer.
Communion.
Closing song.
Closing prayer.

1 hour and 15 minutes later... free from all this church stuff. Once, at one church, we installed a new pastor. His first couple of sermons ran a few minutes over causing people to get out 10-15 minutes later than normal and he would catch hell for it. People were more concerned about beating the Sunday afternoon crowds to lunch than worshipping God.

The religious practices were so mundane and so focused on not changing order, following established timelines, and getting to lunch... it was like falling into a trap. Which it is. One put forth by a very cunning enemy.

I was in that trap for a long time, entangled in it, and didn't even realize what had happened to me. I'd go, sing the songs, pray the prayers, time the sermon, and do it all without any emotion, joy, or reverance. I'd think more about where and with whom I'd go to lunch that day than about God sending his son to die on a cross for my sins.

Epic fail. I had to either get out of the rut or get out of the church! Unfortunately, there weren't many people who were willing to get out of the rut, so I had to get out of those churches.

I might eat a little later in the day, but spiritually I'm much fuller.

"At church they told us we were Children of God, but I knew God's family was better than mine, that He had a daughter who was a cheerleader and a son who played football."

-Donald Miller in "Blue Like Jazz"

I really don't know how/when/why my resistance to God started or where it came from. I wasn't raised in church, never had any significant God conversations with my mother, or any real exposure to God or who He was, but I grew up with a disdain towards this "God" concept which at times boiled over into hatred. Fairly strong emotions for someone, who when asked, would tell you he didn't believe in God.

The concept of God the Father doesn't work for me...

My father left at a very early age, did nothing to support me or my sister as we grew up. I was raised by my mother and my grandmother. My father never visited, called, sent a card, telegram, smoke signal, etc.

The first time I did ever speak to him as a teenager, the first words out of his mouth were "Hello, son!" My temperature must have shot from a normal 98.6F to 212F degrees in mere seconds as I would swear I could feel my blood boiling. Needless to say, the conversation was short. It ended with me throwing a few not-so-idle-at-the-time threats in his direction if I were to ever see him followed soon after by me hanging up on him.

I've gone on to meet my father twice in my life. There won't be a third. In fact, I couldn't tell you where he was or even if he was alive at this point in time.

If God was anything like my father, then I wouldn't want anything to do with him either.

The first time I started "experimenting" with church, I went seeking friends more than I was a relationship with God. After all, people at church HAD to like you right?!? They were Christians! I was about 14 years old and the experiment failed. I no more fit in with those kids than Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would at an Amnesty International conference. The viewpoints were too different, and the reasons for being there were wrong.

Besides, these kids all had nice, "normal", complete families. They had mothers. They had fathers. They had better clothes and better shoes. They were decent. They had talents. They were, in short, everything I wasn't.

These were God's children. I wasn't.

It wasn't really until my own son was born that I truly wrapped my head around the concept of a "father". I held my son in the palm of my hand and cried. I've never felt a love quite like that before. I couldn't imagine ever doing anything to abandon him, hurt him, or leave him wanting for anything. I couldn't understand how any father could, but they do.

I was going to church at the time, but it took this gift and some very blatant messages from God for me to really understand Him, accept Him, and start to build a relationship with him.

The concept of God the Father really works for me...